What not to say to a pregnant woman. Ever. Ev. Er.

I am beyond amazed at the things people think are okay to say to a pregnant woman. Shocked even. And the truth? I never thought it would ever happen to me. And I'm not talking about every single person who I see at the store who says "wow you look like your going to pop any day now!" That surprisingly doesn't bug me. 

No. I'm talking about a particular person whom I'm not close with. We aren't great friends, we hardly even talk. This person has only recently begun to talk to me since my husband and I got married. His little brother was best friends with my husband going to school (we all went to the same school) 

So this person will randomly message me and ask about my pregnancy. How much longer I have, how's it going? Normal Chit chat. 

So today here is our conversation. 

The main parts anyways. 

After posting about some exciting news I was waiting to share he messages me to see what it is 

I tell him and he goes 

oh I thought you were going to say your having twins or something. Then he asks how much longer till

I hatch 

and I tell him five weeks but I'm hoping he comes earlier because I'm not sure I can physically handle another five weeks. 

Well stop eating so much. 

I kid you not. 

All I can say is 

Wow.

That is not the case at all. 

And for future reference don't ever ever ever say that to a pregnant woman again.

His response??

Haha.

Why is he getting so big? 

Well I have gestational diabetes, we could have had our dates wrong, I'm small so there just isn't much room for him. 

Then he tops it off with. 

 My friend in nc just had her baby yesterday and about a week ago I said to her, mind you she's really really short like four feet, wow your as round as you are tall! 

All I can say is

Your an ass

Haha 

Oh that will cause it. 

She thought it was funny. 

Well it wasn't I would have been extremely offended. 

She isn't a midget   

K well I didn't assume she was but I have to go because I'm actually really mad about what you said. And I don't really feel like talking anymore  

I can't believe this jerk off. 

Pull your head from your ass and think about it before you say it. 

I'm not fat. I'm pregnant. 35 weeks pregnant. My hormones are going and that sort of statement or comment or what ever is liable to get your ignorant self beheaded. 

I'm fuming. 

How can someone be so dumb? I probably will be crying in a few minutes so I need to post this before I lose my nerve. 

34 weeks

34 weeks. 

So I think I'm a little off track here. At 33 weeks and zero days I did the 33 week post. Meaning it was for the week ahead. 

So now... 34 weeks is actually the past week... 

Do you see what I mean? 

My brain is all mixed up y'all. Which I guess makes more and more sense because Apparantly Brody's brain is doing quite the developing. He's stealing all my smarts. Or thoughts at least. 

Pregnancy brain is a serious thing. It may sound funny and like an excuse but it's highly annoying to forget.... What was I saying? 

Oh right. That I'm posting 34 weeks at the END of 34 weeks. Because I've lost track of how pregnant I am! 

(I'll be 35 weeks on Tuesday that's insane.) 

Also because it really makes more sense so I can accurately say about my symptoms and cravings and all that goodness. 

Okayyyyyy so here we go. 

Symptoms: 

Basically all the same as last week. Achey and uncomfortable everywhere. Once I get down in the ground (to you know. Organize my closet or go through boxes that need to be gone through at 34 weeks pregnant) it's close to impossible to get back up with out help. Although I haven't had help getting back

Up yet so I'm just assuming it would

Be easier. CONTRACTIONS. Y'all. Friday October 4th we went to a hockey game in Raleigh (that's about two hours north from us) and I drove us home.   Welllll on the way home. At 1 o'clock in the am. When it's dark and foggy and my gps decides to not tell me to turn and I'm lost and frustrated and brads snoring in the passenger seat. My body decides to start having contractions.  Like real ones you guys. Painful ones. And they seem really close. So I'm like brad. Brad. Brad. Wake up. I need you to time these. He didn't wake up. So on top of being lost and driving and all that I'm timing my contractions. And they are CLOSE I'm convinced I'm going into labor. Trying to remember how close they need to be for me to go to the hospital and doing the math of when we will get back home and if I have time to grab my hospital bag. So we get home finally at like 1:15 and I've been having them for the past hour like every two to three minutes or so. And I decide I'm going to get in the tub because maybe I just need to relax. 

It helped. They stopped. And I went to bed. 

The end. 

Lol no but that was crazy. I was freaking out. So what else... My poor fingers are almost constantly numb. My ankles have been swollen to the size of oranges for the past week or so. 

I'm planning to drink more water tomorrow. 

Cravings:

Hahaha well.... You see I've had this crazy chocolate craving for almost a week now so I decided to make cookies. They were absolutely delicious. 

Apples. Apples and peanut butter. If you haven't tried it. You have to. It's so good. You just sit down with apple slices and the jar of pb and spread a little on each bite. It's so good. I bet it would be delicious with crunchy pb too? 

I'm exhausted. Like all the time. Back to napping you guys. 

Bump town 👆👆👆👆👆 I'm feeling huge. And Brody lays awkwardly all the time. My belly button has popped out. 

Blimp. 

Hockey fans. Go wings. They killed it in the last period. 

34 weeks  

Oh I also had breast feeding class! 

Dear baby bee,

This week you grew to the size of a large cantaloupe. 19-22 inches long and about 5.5 lbs.  your brain is doing lots of developing and your storing up fat for when your born. I'm so excited to hold you. Not too much longer okay? Your Grammy robin thinks you'll be here next week. Who knows... You probably do. I've been so tired the past week. It's like your sucking all my energy. Because you seem to have a lot of it. Sorry that buddy keeps squishing you. He wants to be really really close to me today. 

Lots of love 

Mommy.