Week 21 aka your 5 months old

Well well beetle boy! 

Time is a flying!!! 

I can't believe this last week went so fast. 

We started babysitting. Which has been super fun. You and tommy really like each other. 

We got settled in too and it feels so much different being here versus North Carolina. For one: there's the SNOW. Yeah... It's cold. 

Two: no daddy here and lots and lots of family. 

I'm not sure what's going on. Are you still teething? You sort of shut that right off huh? I'm starting to think you weren't really teething before...? 

Who knows. 

You've been making tons of noises. Like little ones, big loud ones. Angry and happy and sad ones. You've for sure found your voice. 

The big move part 2

So here we are in Michigan 

It's winter/spring. 

Late winter. 

Early spring is a joke. It's still snowing. 

It's cold

It's wet

I'm not a fan. 

I have such bad anxiety driving with Brody in the jeep. I get so scared that something is going to happen. I know I know how to drive. I'm very careful. It's the other people

The Michiganders who have been practicing for months and months. Who are tired of it. So they are driving like the conditions are dry roads.... 

This scares me. 

Like heart pounding trouble breathing scared. 

The other day I had an appointment with the beetle boy. He wasn't feeling good at all. Running a temp, it got up to 102 at one point. He was sleepy. He was sneezy. And runny and watery and just not feeling good. 

So about 45 minutes before the apt were getting ready. I'm putting his warmest clothes on him. And he throws up. Allll over himself. All over the clothes that I'm putting on him. I felt so bad for him. So I got him dressed in some thing else. Covered him with blankets. And headed out the door. The dogs got out. And ran. I said GET BACK HERE!! I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!! And you know what? They ran back to me. And in the gate. And I left.

It's been a long time since I've driven here. I forgot which highway I needed. Called my FIL. He thought it was one. It wasn't. I went the wrong way. I had 9 minutes before the apt and not a clue how long it was going to take me. 

I get off the highway where I think I need to be. I'm so mad. And my anxiety is skyrocketing. I'm praying to Jesus to get us there on time. ( the appt was to apply for wic. Living in two separate households is expensive and we are pay check to paycheck as it is) when out of NO where there's a girl. She's bundled up. It's snowing like crazy. She's pushing a stroller. ( one of the little umbrella style ones) she's got a baby wrapped around her too. And she's crossing the street right in front of me. Not a cross walk. It's a hill I didn't see her until I was right at the top. I step on the brakes and yell out at her are you kidding me?! Use the cross walk!!! 

And then I realized what that was. 

That was Jesus. 

Telling me 

Calm down my child. Your warm. Your safe. Your driving a car and your baby is warm in the back seat safe from the wind and snow. 

I almost burst into tears at how selfish I was.  

I slowed down. I thanked God for all I had. And I continued to me appt with a new sense of peace. 

I pulled in just in time ran in only 2 minutes late. 

The appt went really well

We were approved. Or rather I was for now since he's EBF 

Baby bee will begin getting benefits next month (some baby food)

So with all that. Were settling in nicely. I've started working. I'm a nanny for a cousin of Brody's and mine. He happens to be Brody's age, 2 months older. 

I've got amazing support here. 

Brads family is amazing. They love Brody so much and want to help out all the time. My family is so happy to have us home. 

I miss Bradley bee soo much. I haven't had to ever do something this hard. It's different than a deployment. And it's worse. There's something about us being a family and being separated that hurts so much worse.

But the countdown is on. 69 days until he leaves NC. 

I'm thinking about a surprise birthday party/welcome home party....

What do you think? 

Week 20

This is the week baby boy. Were heading out of North Carolina for ever. (Probably. Never say never though. Anything is possible. I've come to learn that over the years. 

Your daddy is having a hard time with us leaving. He's been a grumpy butt, just like you were last week. I don't think he's teething though....

So anyways. Your gramps came. He and your daddy went and got some of these little magic pills. 

Hylands teething tablets. They are seriously life changing. As soon as you start to fuss we pop a few under your tongue, they dissolve... And boom. Your all better. They take away your pain, your irritation, and it seems even your frustration! 

I will forever suggest them to everyone. 

Let's see.... Oh so we packed up the whole house, moved stuff to storage, cleaned, although we were busy we knew... This was the last week, and just spent some time hanging out. 

Sunday we finished the house, hooked up the trailer, said good bye to our friends and brought your daddy to his new house. We spent some time there cuddling and hanging out. We had dinner there, the dogs ran around. You thought that was really funny and laughed and laughed at them just walking around! 

It was special for your daddy to see that. You've been doing that more and more. 

When it came time to leave you fell asleep. Your daddy gave you about a hundred kisses and walked us to the jeep. 

And he cried. He put you in the jeep hugged me and cried and told me how much he loved us both and was going to miss us. Then he said goodbye to grampa and told him he better take care of us. And he ran around to our side again leaned over me and kissed you again. And kissed me. Beetle. This was the hardest thing I've had to do ever. It was hard when he deployed but this was ten thousand times harder. 

There's something about being a family and having to be apart that just rips your soul apart. He stood on the side of the road until we were gone and then sent me a message telling me how much he already missed you. 

The next 15 hours were hard. You were amazing and slept almost all night. You only woke up a couple of times to eat (your normal times) and we stopped for breakfast. Grampa Tim drove the whole way to Michigan. About 15 minutes from home you had had enough. You were achey and hungry. I leaned over your seat to feed you. That helped. 

The dogs were excited to be out of the jeep tko and ran around and around te back yard. 

Night number one was very hard on me. You were so cranky and sore from sitting in the jeep so long. We had dinner at uncle Eric's and you cried a lot. 

When we got home and in bed I cried because I missed your daddy. 

Things got set up the next day and it felt more like home. 

No pictures on my phone so I'll have to do those later. 

Xoxo 

Mommy

Week 17

Well beetle boy. For some reason I thought you were already 17 weeks old. Until today when I counted the weeks and it turns out that NOW your 17 weeks. Boom. 

Soo happy 17 weeks big boy! 

Your weighing in at 16 lbs and your so tall. I can't find the measuring tape anywhere so we will need to wait until we go to the doctors next week to find out that magic number. 

We got you a little play gym this week. You LOVE it! Kicking all the little toys and talking a mile a minute to it. I can't figure out how to put videos on here so I'll have to email it to you. (Remember when I set up an email address for you a few weeks ago?) you have had a few rough moments this past week. Crying and fussing and getting too tired I guess. It gets me everytime and I just want to cry with you. I feel like your nap time schedule must be changing because normal you wake up and take a nap an hour or two later. Then wake up and eat and play. But the past few days you are fighting it. Hard. Then you get too tired and cry. I guess we will see. 

I love you baby boy. 

Xoxo 

Mommy. 

Thank you grandpa Camling

Thank you grampa Camling. 

Grampa Camling is here! I know I posted earlier with the video but I didn't get to tell the story. Every single time we have moved (it's a lot when your hubby is in the military) he has come to help us out. He helps with any repairs, moving things, and this time I'm beyond thankful. Words can't even express it. I was so nervous that I would be driving 900+ miles with the two dogs, Brody, and a trailer full of stuff. I don't know if it's just because I'm a new mom but highway driving scares me now (maybe also the fact that we don't really have much highway driving here in Jacksonville?) but anyways. The thought of driving 900+ highway miles with just the four of us. Having to stop and breastfeed and let the dogs out all alone was stressing me out. But Tim flew down this morning. So thank you!!! So so much. We love you!! 

Week 19

19 weeks. 

Hey beetle! 

Happy 19 weeks! This week has been great! Your getting so independent. Chilling out in your swing or in your play gym while mommy gets stuff done. But... You have also started teething... So temper tantrums and chewing on everything have started. 

I was looking back at pictures from when you were born, and all the pain and frustration and every tear since then are all worth it. Because we love you so much none of it even compares. 

Lots of love beetle boy. 

Mommy 

Week 18

18 weeks

Dear Brody bee

It's been a crazy week. Packing and playing and cleaning. You loved spending time outside for a while. It also seems that when your crying being outside calms you down. I think it's a good sign. You had your four month well baby visit this week. Your growing so much! 16.6 lbs and 26 Inches. That puts you in the 80th percentile bubba. You did pretty well with your shots and we knew what to expect this time. Ran a fever for a day or two and then the next day you slept. You slept for hours. I think total in the 24 hour period you were maybe awake for five hours! 

Portraits of Brody

The big move part one

When Brad and I got married he had already been in the marine corps for almost five years. He thought then that it would be a career for him, but over the last four years things have changed and he has made the choice to move our little family back to Michigan to be close to our families and friends. 

I love him and support any decision he chooses because his happiness means more to me than anything else. 

So with 5 months before his EAS date we are starting to prepare for the big move. We will be moving in with brads parents until we can get ourselves a place and I'm very excited about it. We have an amazing relationship and I love them so much so this is a great thing. Brad and I have been talking the past couple months about having me go home earlier so we can get settled in before he gets out, save up some money for a down payment, and let him really focus on his last months in the service. I know those couple if months will be hard on our little family being apart but with such an amazing support system at home and thanks to some super awesome FaceTime technology we are certain that the time apart won't be too hard on us. 

So with all of that said. Brody, the dogs and I will be heading back to the Great Lakes state in just under one month. ONE MONTH does seem like that long does it? I feel like there is so much to get done during that time though. We have decided to use TMO to move us home. So they will be packing and moving our belongings the 900+ miles for us. We need to get forms, and put in notices and set things up, we have some repairs and cleaning to get done, we have things to sell and get rid of, organize and pack things that we want To drive ourselves. Thinking about a garage sale in the next couple weekends to get rid of some of the stuff we have collected over the last three and a half years here. How do you choose those things? Make it easy and get new stuff when we find our own place? I don't know. I'm excited to get home though. I guess that's all for now... 

I want to bring Brody to the ocean before we go home though. 

Week 16

Hey baby boy, 

16 weeks was a hoot! You've grown so much and are learning new things every single day. It's amazing to watch your little mind working. You keep trying to sit up. It makes you so mad that you can't do it yet! You do these tiny little crunches and huff and puff and look at me like "mom! Why aren't you helping me!" So I grab your hands and pull you up and you smile at me like everything is better. 

You also started liking to fly even more, especially since we have started to let you go upside down a little. You laugh! It's the most precious little laugh and I can't wait to hear when your laugh grows  into a deep belly laugh. Your grandma robin keeps telling me that it's the best sound in the world and I'm anxious to hear it. Thursday morning you turned 17 weeks old and I played some music to celebrate. Dancing and lip synching to you made you laugh too. 

I'm learning more and more of your cries and when you tell me you need something I get it. Although the other night you were so tired. You cried and cried for an hour and a half. I was so worried because you don't ever do that. I tried everything I could think of. I changed you, fed you (which you did not want.) took your temperature, gave you some Tylenol In case those two little teeth buds were starting to hurt, I tried gripe water and bicycle kicks, burping nothing was helping. We had a bath, and walking, and laying and sitting. And standing. Wanna know what it took? Wrapping you up in a soft blanket, holding you on my chest in the guest room and rocking back and forth. I prayed to God that something was not wrong and that he would help calm you. Your daddy was on duty so it was just us. A minute later you did just that. Your cries softened your head laid down on my shoulder and you began to sigh, and when I thought you were done I brought you back to bed and got you to eat. You fell asleep and slept for 6 hours before you woke up again. 

The point is beetle, I love you so much. I would do anything to make you happy and make sure your not sad, and when you are? It breaks my heart. Into so many pieces that I don't know how I could ever put them back together again. That's how I feel all the time now. I never thought I could ever have this much love in my heart. It hurts sometimes but it's such an amazing thing being your mom. You smile and laugh and put your hand on mine and everything is okay. 

Your my world baby boy. Happy valentines day sweet one. 

Xoxo mommy